Tonight, as I was driving back home from grocery shopping, I realised that my eye sight is getting worse. I'm shortsighted but refused to wear any glasses. Guess I'm not ready to accept the fact that I need a pair of glasses. It flashes back to some problems of mine. I know the solution could be there but I'm afraid to take that bold step which will change my life. Thus, I've been running away from my problem because I failed to find an answer which benefits everyone.
I'm lost. My family was broken apart not long ago. I know it's the fact. I've been trying hard to accept it. The feeling of empitiness is within me. Although my family members are no longer staying together with each other, busy with own activities, I still feel hard to let it go. I'm afraid of getting married, starting my own new life at somewhere else. I'm lack of focus & concentration as I'd to take over my mum's responsibilities ... like taking care of my father's, maid's & dogs' necessities. I can't have my own quiet, private life. I'd to help out my dad's in his business because my mum dumped everything to me in exchange for her freedom. I've been asking myself, "why can't I be more selfish to dump everything & run away from home"?
I've no career, no family & of course no personal income. I started to feel insecure about my future & life. I'm not living for myself. I need a way to get out of my current life. I've been asking myself, "what's the problem?" but I couldn't express my thoughts. My mind is really disturbed most of the time. I'm emotionally vulnerable. Am I going to take over someone's responsibilities for the rest of my life? Am I going to let it runs my life? Do I have a choice not to be selfish?
